In a world that often celebrates success, failure is something many of us strive to avoid. Yet, as absurd as it might seem, failure is one of the most potent sources of growth and learning.
It is a fundamental part of the human experience, an inevitable consequence of striving to do something worthwhile. How we interpret and cope with failure is a key determinant of well-being (Libby, et al., 2011).
Abraham Lincoln famously said:
My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.
By rethinking our approach to failure, we can transform it into a catalyst for profound personal and professional development.
The role of self-esteem
However, this isn’t easy to do, especially for those who have low self-esteem and tend to judge themselves harshly. This can result them over-generalising and feeling they have failed as a person (Kernis, Brockner, and Frankel, 1989).
Individuals with a high fear of failure have also been found to experience more negative emotional responses when all does not go as planned (Sagar and Stoeber, 2009).
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. ~ Elbert Hubbard
I don’t want the fear of failure to stop me from doing what I really care about. ~ Emma Watson
Conversely, those with high self-esteem are more likely to focusing on their strengths and the positive feelings they have about themselves in the face of failure (Brown and Smart, 1991). Their responses are therefore self-enhancing rather than self-defeating.
How I’ve failed
I have failed with my things in my life. Business ventures, saving money, choosing the right degree course, friendship choices, and at times my ability to parent and to be a good sibling. What’s done is one, and all we can do from learn from these experiences.
Failure is not necessarily a bad thing. I’d rather try and fail that regret not trying at all. Plus, there are so many things that failure teaches us.
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. ~ Albert Einstein
Failure Teaches Resilience
One of the most significant lessons failure offers is resilience. When we fail, we experience setbacks that challenge our resolve. Whether it’s a failed business venture, a botched project, or a personal relationship that didn’t work out, these experiences force us to confront our vulnerabilities.
The ability to bounce back from these setbacks, to pick ourselves up and try again, is a testament to our resilience. Resilience is not just about enduring hardship; it’s about growing stronger because of it. Every failure is a test of our endurance and our ability to adapt.
It’s not how far you fall, but how high you bounce that counts. ~ Zig Ziglar
Over time, as we experience more failures, we become more resilient, learning to navigate the complexities of life with greater ease and confidence. We learn that failure is not the end, but rather a stepping stone on the path to success.
Failure Fosters Innovation and Creativity
Failure is often the birthplace of innovation. Many of history’s greatest inventions and breakthroughs have come from repeated failures. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the lightbulb, famously said:
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Edison’s perspective on failure is a powerful reminder that each failed attempt brings us one step closer to success.
In the realm of creativity, failure plays an equally crucial role. Writers, artists, and musicians often go through countless drafts and revisions before they produce their best work. These failures are not wasted efforts; they are experiments that lead to discovery.
By allowing ourselves to fail, we open up new possibilities and pathways that we might never have considered if we had played it safe. Failure encourages us to think outside the box, to take risks, and to explore uncharted territory.
Ben Francis, Gymshark, on failure
Gymshark owner Ben Francis has talked openly about the subject of failure, stating that the company has achieved all it has because of failure:
It’s so easy to look at Gymshark in isolation at this thing that blew up and did incredibly well, but people forget about the seven websites and the four apps that were produced beforehand which failed miserably. And the reason Gymshark can exist and has done what it has done today is because of those prior failures.
Failure Encourages Self-Reflection
Failure often compels us to pause and reflect. When things don’t go as planned, it forces us to ask difficult questions: What went wrong? What could I have done differently? How can I improve?
This process of self-reflection is critical for personal growth. It allows us to identify our weaknesses, recognise our strengths, and develop a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Self-reflection also fosters humility. It reminds us that we are not infallible, that we have much to learn, and that we must be open to growth. This humility is crucial in a world that often values arrogance and overconfidence.
By embracing failure and reflecting on it, we cultivate a more balanced and realistic view of ourselves and our capabilities.
Failure Builds Character and Empathy
The experience of failure has a way of shaping our character. It teaches us patience, perseverance, and the value of hard work. When we fail, we are reminded that success is not handed to us on a silver platter—it must be earned through effort, dedication, and often, repeated attempts.
Moreover, failure builds empathy. When we experience failure, we become more compassionate towards others who are going through similar struggles. We learn to appreciate the challenges others face and offer support rather than judgment.
This empathy can strengthen our relationships and create a more supportive and understanding community.
Failure Redefines Success
Failure also plays a crucial role in redefining what success means to us. In the pursuit of goals, it’s easy to get caught up in the conventional definitions of success – money, status, and recognition.
However, failure forces us to reconsider these definitions. It encourages us to ask ourselves what truly matters and what we genuinely value.
For some, failure might lead to a shift in career paths, a re-evaluation of life goals, or a renewed focus on personal fulfilment over external accolades.
By experiencing failure, we learn that success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s deeply personal and often more about the journey than the destination.
We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes. Understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success. ~ Arianna Huffington
Failure Cultivates a Growth Mindset
Finally, failure is instrumental in cultivating a growth mindset—a belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, dedication, and learning from our mistakes.
The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ Henry Ford
This contrasts with a fixed mindset, where individuals believe their qualities are set in stone.
When we embrace failure as a learning opportunity, we shift from a fixed to a growth mindset. We become more willing to take on challenges, knowing that failure is not a reflection of our worth but a necessary part of the learning process.
This mindset fosters continuous improvement, resilience, and a lifelong love of learning.
An essential component of growth
While society often stigmatises failure, viewing it as something to be avoided at all costs, the reality is that failure is an essential component of growth.
It teaches us resilience, fosters creativity, encourages self-reflection, builds character and empathy, redefines success, and cultivates a growth mindset.
By embracing failure and viewing it as an opportunity rather than a setback, we unlock our full potential.
Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. it’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere. ~ Barack Obama
The next time we encounter failure, we should remind ourselves that it’s not the end of the road—it’s the beginning of a new journey, one that is filled with valuable lessons and opportunities for growth.
Sources
Brown, J. D., & Smart, S. A. (1991). The self and social conduct: Linking self-representations to prosocial behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60, 368–375. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.368 Bruner, J. S. (1957). On perceptual readiness. Psychological Review.
Kernis, M. H., Brockner, J., & Frankel, B. S. (1989). Self-esteem and reactions to failure: The mediating role of overgeneralization. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 57, 707–714. doi:10.1037/0022- 3514.57.4.707
Libby, L.K., Valenti, G., Pfent, A. and Eibach, R.P., 2011. Seeing failure in your life: Imagery perspective determines whether self-esteem shapes reactions to recalled and imagined failure. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(6), p.1157.
Sagar, S.S. and Stoeber, J., 2009. Perfectionism, fear of failure, and affective responses to success and failure: The central role of fear of experiencing shame and embarrassment. Journal of sport and exercise psychology, 31(5), pp.602-627.
